Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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