so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
