I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize