Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
