So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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