i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
