Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
