This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
