I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
