My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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