Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Fuck appropriateness.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize