You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
