I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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