hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
