I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
