The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
