i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
