She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
