i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
