Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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