I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
