It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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