My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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