There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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