I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
