Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize