ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize