I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
