Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Never joke about your clitoris.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
