My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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