Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
