Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
