it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
