she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
