so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
