i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
