Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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