i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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