I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize