i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
