just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
