i just wanna soil my oats bro
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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