I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
