4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
