i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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