i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
