Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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