O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
