If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
