508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
