Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
