conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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