It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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