I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
