Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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