i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
