He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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