Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
