Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
