Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
