Kiss
Puke
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
